I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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