Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize