my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Randomize