You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize