Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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