It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize