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Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
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