Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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