How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize