So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
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You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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