you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
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