so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
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The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
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The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
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Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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