shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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