i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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