my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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