so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
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whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
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I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
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