i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize