Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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