evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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