I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
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