I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize