we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
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he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
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i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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