My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize