): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
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I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
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How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
My dad is sitting where you rode me
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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