you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Hippo gnu deer
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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