I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Duck Duck Cougar?
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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