I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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