hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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