dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
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It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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