I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
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