Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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