how can u be prego again
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
not ubering you a puppy
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
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