i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize