dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
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