actually, I'm a sock model
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize