Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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