So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
it glows. i had to have it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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