Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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