I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
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I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
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I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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