wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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