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it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
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