I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
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just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
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My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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