i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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