I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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