I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize