did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize