yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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