Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
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