There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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