I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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