hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
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He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
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I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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